Lummox – 10,000 Beers

An awesome song by The Cretin (Murray Acton) of the {{Dayglo Abortions}} from the album “Natural Born Swillers” by LUMMOX. This song is classic Canadian punk rock.

Last known lineup:
Merrick F*cking Fatkinson – bass and vocals
Mike Lumber Jak – Guitar
Tim Terror – Guitar

Normally, this is where I would paraphrase a band’s bio. However, Lummox’s myspace bio is perfect the way it is:

Lummox was born in the skids downtown B.C. I started the band with Nev the Impailer, ex-guitar player for the Dayglo Abortions. Had a little drug problem, so I had to get rid of him. Contacted Murray from the Dayglo Abortions as wed known each other from playing gigs when I played with the BFGs in the early 80s. Played with The Exploited, Crucifucks, UK Subs, Cramps, and fucking everyone else that came through the BFG DMZ club. As I was saying, I contacted Murray, he had a little interest in the band Lummox. We got together in Vancouver Island, sat down and continued to write the Lummox album. When the album came out we were at the record company and Murray pointed out to me that he had stretched my left tit on the front cover of the C.D. I was pretty choked. As he continued to un-wrap the Lummox C.D., laughing his balls off, thinking he was smarter than me, all of a sudden there was a dark silence in the room. Murray was in a rage. He was all boiled up, again. He threw our C.D. against the wall smashing it into ten thousand beers, saying I wish I never did this fucking album! I was in shock. I said, Whats up brother? What happened? Is there something wrong with my stretched tit? Its not big enough for you? As Murray was boiling over, squeezing his beer can so hard there was beer spilling all over the place in the record company, he reached for the insert of the album, opening it up and yelling at me, he said to me: Look at this you fucking asshole. I spelt my name wrong! While known as Murrar Acton. I broke down in tears with laughter inside, as I didnt want him to know. He was pretty boiled up. In a short silent deep breath I had to break out in full on laughter and tears. And I proudly said to him, Thats what you get for stretching my tit, you big dumb Lumm. It was all a bit of a mess from then on in. Band broke up. Too bad, we played a lot of good gigs. John London was a brilliant drummer. Murray is an excellent man to write tunes with. I think he just wanted to re-join the Dayglo Abortions because of the reasons being. Bonehead was touring around saying, Dont you know who I am? I am spending all of Murrays money. Things looked up. Mike Jak from Jak Skateboard Team, Vancouver B.C., one of the founders of the Jaks, started playing in Lummox. Mike Lumber Jak, the fucking Lumm, also played on Two Dogs Fucking, played with Mike for two years throughout B.C. Other guitar player Tim Noel, known as best guitar player in the world, was playing with us throughout the two year period with drummer James Brander (drummer from JP5 and every other fucking band in B.C.). Things got all fucked up again. Tim went on the cruise ships to play the Caribbean Islands, lucky fucker, floating around with all those girls, playing music, and not having sex with any of them, fateful man. Mike Jak went to Edmonton to work on the oil rigs. Oh yeah, I forgot, Time stole my fucking drummer too. Back to the Lummotorium to figure the Lumm-shit out. Again things were fucked up. Continued to work on the port of Vancouver long shoring, which led to drinking, drugs, and depression over the hard work I put into my band. Every time things got going good band members seemed to move on in life, as there is a whole big world out there and lots of things to do. Its hard to be married to three or four guys at the same time. Anyways, back to the fucking Lummox. Almost got my arm amputated, got stabbed eight times in the legs, and a samurai sword through my ass. Fuck did that ever wake me up. So now whats happening; I had to learn how to play guitar again. Tim came back from the Caribbean and I asked him if he wanted to play. He was in and things were looking up. The only thing we had to do was find a brilliant drummer, the one that would cover John Londons magic playing. I went to see The Power Clowns, who are an Iron Maiden cover band, those guys are fucking brilliant. Jan, the drummer for DOA, also played in The Power Clowns. I stood there drinking with him, watching them play. The guy was fucking amazing. I thought about him for a month. Not knowing that he would say yes, I phoned him to ask him if he knew of a drummer suitable for Lummox. He said to me, I love that shit, I know all of those songs. And there we were playing. This time I think its the best band I have ever had. We are coming to get you fuckers right out of the Lummory for some more drinking and fighting, hoe banging funery. Going on tour Sept 10th starting in Toronto, Montreal, Hal, Quebec City and I dont know anything else yet so have your eyes out for the All Mighty Lummox ! The Natural Born Swillers Album is Now Available through Indie Pool and HMV. You can Purchase it Now just hit the Button below. Cheers

Written by Destrukto. Original content here: Canadian Music News

About the author

Destrukto is a musician, songwriter and producer from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada with college diplomas in both business and computers. Destrukto has spent well over 10 years playing in, recording and promoting Canadian bands.